Justice for everyone

I cannot believe how time is flying by. There is only one week left to my training and then I start exploring India on my own. I am still not quite sure about my next destination, but I know my options. For now though, I am trying to focus all of my energy on the experience I am currently living with Bala Vikasa. Everyday, I wake up grateful of being in India, doing this training and meeting so many amazing people. Every night, I go to bed thankful and with a big smile on my face. This is truly an incredible feeling.

For this article, I wanted to talk with you about the visit we did last week. Indeed, we visited a group of widows in another village to see and learn more about the widow program of Bala Vikasa. The program tries to promote empowerment for the women through counselling sessions, Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques, yoga and group meets. 

Now you may be wondering why the widows? As much as it may seem very surprising for us, discrimination of widows is a huge problem in India, especially in rural cities. I myself was very surprised about this issue as I wasn't aware of it before this training. Widows are socially marginalized because they are considered as “bad luck”. That said, they are often rejected from their society and neighbour. When a woman looses her husband, the family in-law will mostly reject her saying the death of their son was caused by her. Also, she will not be able to decorate herself with the Indian traditions (jewels and flowers, by example) because people don't consider she deserves to honour these. 

As a result, the women are afraid of getting out of their houses because it's considered bad luck to meet a widow in the streets. Their children are also uneducated and are asked to work to be able to earn an income. The suffering is huge. These women are not considered as human beings anymore. From Bala Vikasa’s survey, it is said that 29% of them try to commit suicide.

Imagine for a moment that you loose your husband (or wife), your beloved one and also probably the father of your children. Loosing him is enough pain, right? Well, imagine that to top that suffer, you also have to deal with everyone around you rejecting you. You aren't allowed to have the same rights as anyone else. Not allowed anymore to be part of your society. You have to see your children suffering too. You have to accept that people don't want to be around you as you represent back luck. 

It doesn't make any sense, right?

During our meeting with the women (around 100 of them), they were asked to close their eyes. Then, they were asked some questions which they had to answer by raising their hands or not. By example, they were asked to raise their hands if they had one child, then two children, then three children, etc. They were asked if their husband passed away less than one year ago, less than three years ago, etc. You get the idea. 

You wouldn't believe how many of them raised their hands when asked if their husband passed away because of alcoholism. 

You wouldn't believe how many of them raised their hands when asked if they were rejected by their in-laws.

But most of all, you wouldn't believe how many of them raised their hands when asked if they ever tried to commit suicide.

It was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking isn't even enough to express the suffer we could see in their eyes. Everyone had tears at that point. 

Then some women came at the front of the group to tell their story. Once again, my heart was in pieces. The cries and the suffer in their voice. Everything was so raw. Some of them were so young. It was unbelievable. 

But then, something amazing happened. Stronger than the suffering, we could hear hope.

They started to tell us how Bala Vikasa changed their life, how it gave them hope. How now some of them start wearing the Indian traditions again. How they are starting to be part of the society again. Some even went back to school. Specially, one even accomplished a master in social work because of the opportunity and the strength Bala Vikasa gave her. Their children are now supported in their education. They are now standing for each other. It was, once again, inspiring.

The problem of the widows in India is hard to change because it's part of the history, part of the mentality of people since decades and decades. It doesn't mean it's hard to change that it shouldn't be changed. Bala Vikasa is a good example of that. Changing the mentality of people and try to aware them isn't always a piece of cake. But it's possible. 

No human being should suffer for such a discrimination. We all deserve justice and equity. We all do. If you believe so and you open your mind to this idea, then changes are possible. 

We need people who decide to take the initiative to change it. We need people that believe it shouldn't be this way. We need people  that decide to stand for it. 

And we need individuals to open their mind and realize it all start within us. It all starts with a change of attitude. Which we can all do, starting now.